Public Comment

I awoke tonight after a long nap, and it occurred to me I could be headed for a number of unpleasant surprises. They would be caused by foolish decision-making and ensuing circumstances that I could not foresee. I'm looking at possible threats to my survival. And this is because it wasn't good enough for me, in my way of thinking, to be the same as some others with a psychiatric disability, and accept what is being offered, and simply live poor. 

Unrealistic thinking does not rescue you from anything. If you are a grown man or woman, there are things you have to do and must not do if you want to survive. And if you fail to do them, or if you do something that you must not do, denial, in any form, will not rescue you. Therefore, it is up to you to think in ways that accurately track reality. And for someone who has a psychotic illness, you can't take accurate thinking for granted. 

The system of care in California for mentally ill adults is not designed to help people who are high functioning, but due to low-level psychosis, make foolish life decisions. Although many foolish life decisions can be caused by psychosis, they don't seem to fall into people's perceived category of symptoms of a mental illness--at least, not in most people's thinking. And this includes the thinking of many caregivers. When someone is mentally ill, other people expect more of a display of bizarre or perhaps aggressive behavior, or other behaviors that could not pass for normal. Simply making a foolish decision may not be within the scope of what clinicians look for. 

Yet, neurodivergent conditions, especially psychosis, can devastate judgment. And this can devastate our lives. 

I chose last year to leave my spouse because of numerous problems in the living situation. Now I am suffering for it in terms of a broken heart, and in many other respects. I have somewhat of a writing career, and it has generated a blip on people's radar and on the system that keeps track of taxes. I will need to pay at least some amount of taxes. Or I might get an earned income credit. Regardless, by the end of this year I will be able to call myself a taxpayer. 

Yet this introduces complexities. And I won't go into detail. 

I think it is worth it for many people to do a tax return in modern times. In fact, a letter writer responding to one of my pieces in the Street Spirit Newspaper (not to be confused with Street Sheet) suggested that everyone should do a tax return. And thinking back, the person was correct. Additionally, a tax return could make it harder for the government under the incoming Trump Administration to deport an American citizen, or to at least put us into a deportation camp on the basis that we can't prove that we are from the U.S. This may seem very farfetched, and I certainly hope it is. 

But a tax return won't close the hole in my heart. And I don't know what will. 

The social services system isn't set up to encourage work or to encourage trying to rise up from poverty. It is intended to help people work the system and get all of the free food, low-cost housing, low-cost utilities, and all of the other things given in return for not joining ranks with money earners. 

If we want to rise above poverty and generate income, it is not a comfortable or easy prospect. Work is never going to be easy. This statement would draw strong agreement from almost any wage earner. 

On the other hand, no one can predict the future. If we could predict the future, there would be no point to life. We just need to muddle through the hard times and hope for the best, and that's all we can do.