Columns

Get the Money Out of (Gubernatorial) Politics

When it comes to putting a proposition on the State Ballot, California sets a high bar. To qualify, petition-backers must gather a number of signatures equal to at least 5% of the total votes cast for the office of Governor at the previous election. Gathering a million legitimate signatures in 180 days can wind up costing millions of dollars. Not surprisingly then, special interest groups and corporations have dominated successful initiative-qualifying campaigns in California.

But when it comes to running to become governor, you only need to gather 7,000 valid signatures. And if that's too much trouble, there's another option that makes running to occupy the Governor's Mansion far easier than trying to get a proposition on the ballot. As the Chronicle's Joe Garafoli recently noted: "All it will take is $3,916."

Yep. While it's costly and time-consuming to place a proposition on the ballot, you can flat-out buy yourself a spot as a contender to win the state's highest elected office!

With such a low bar, it's no surprise that previous recall efforts have drawn the attention of past-due-date celebrities and publicity seeking wing-nuts who might not be able to find 7,000 fans to sign a sheet but can scrape together a couple of thou. 

Garofoli referenced the 2003 gubernatorial recall campaign that brought Arnold Schwarzenegger to Sacramento. According to Garofoli, the 135 pay-to-play candidates who bought a place on the ballot included "porn star Mary Carey Iwho listed her chest measurements in her campaign materials), a ferret advocate, a guy who never stopped talking in a fake Australian accent, and the humorist Gallagher, whose 'comedy' act climaxed with him smashing watermelons using a wooden mallet." 

Also among 2003's crowd of contenders: Garry Coleman, the pint-sized child star of TV's "Diff'rent Strokes" and Hustler magazine publisher and porn-connoisseur Larry Flynt, who admitted to Garofoli that he had no intention of becoming governor, he just wanted a platform to get interviews to promote the legalization of slot machines in the state. "This was a cheap buy-in for me: 3,500 bucks? It was worth it." 

But was it worth it for California? In 2003, the pay-to-play option would have raised slightly over a half million dollars for the state. But, in the process, it made the election contest a ripe target for ridicule. 

So here's a target for political reform: Let's ban the practice of "ballot buying." If someone wants to run for governor, insist that they gather 7,000 valid signatures to qualify. 

This would make a great ballot proposition for the next election, don't you think? Can anyone spare a couple of million dollars to put it on the ballot? 

A Gotcha Line re "American Democracy" 

A short fund-raising email from the Alliance for Global Justice contained the following zinger: 

"For over 40 years, Alliance for Global Justice has fought the idea that the US has some 'exceptional' right to tell other countries how to run their internal affairs. Help us tell the US government that — after its Jan. 6 election debacle — it has no right to tell Venezuela and Nicaragua how to run their elections." 

What We Choose to Remember Reveals What We Choose to Believe 

In an April 14 "virtual event," the University of Virginia's Memory Project posed some good questions: "Why does Germany have no Nazi memorials, while the United States is riddled with Confederate statues? How did post-war Germans’ strategies for the redress of trauma and memorialization align with the aim of revitalizing democracy and repairing democratic culture? … [Are there] lessons that Americans can learn from the Germans?" 

When it comes to eliminating racist statues, there should be no statute of limitations. 

Publishers Clogging-House Strikes Again 

The Big Award Day is approaching on April 30 and the Publishers Clearing House envelopes continue to arrive, clogging my PO Box with invitations to purchase scores of unwanted items and instructions on how to find numerous sticky tags that need to be moved from the scads of advert fliers and affixed to mail-back forms—on pain of losing an ever-so-close chance to receive (at latest count) "$14,000 a week for life!"  

Relentlessly, week after week, the PCH's envelopes arrive bearing alarming reminders: "Final Step!! Pending," "Compliance Incomplete," "Only and Final," "Claim or Forfeit," "Only and Final Advance Notice," and "Winner Selection Imminent." 

PCH claims to have handed out $494,000,000 in prize money (yes: that's nearly half-a-billion bucks) and turned more that 100 Average Joe and Jane Americans into instant millionaires. (Note: Another PCH mailing claims to have dispersed only $472 million. Perhaps, it's time to spend some of that money on an audit.) 

So far, several promised prizes have never materialized. One big payoff announced for December 2020 passed without mention. On February 5, 2021, PCH announced a "Forever Prize to be awarded real soon." "Real soon" went by a two months ago. 

The PCH mailers are now arriving personalized, with purchase pitches offered on a first-name basis in envelopes (creepily) containing street maps of Berkeley neighborhoods in which contestants are living! One PCH mailer even included a winner's list of "16 Californians" including four "residents of Berkeley." I hope these four gave PCH permission to post their names alongside the news that they are now swimming in unearned loot. 

Anyone know "Kyndal Clemons, Stuart Reinsch, Leslie Tibbetts, or Mildrd [sic] Lee"? My guess is that these "residents" are "ficticious." 

Despite PHC's fevered pitches (alternatively testy and tantalizing), I'm not excited. I just noticed PCH has been using a familiar logo borrowed from the US government. It shows an eagle with its wings and legs outspread. And what's it holding in its clenched claws? Nothing! 

A Contagion of Contest Mail! 

How can PCH afford such a glut of commercial pandering? One way is by selling the personal data from contest participants to—wait for it!—other competing contest organizers. 

An unsolicited letter from the National Magazine Exchange recently informed me that I'm eligible to win a "10,000 weekly prize for 52 weeks" but "only if you call us by April 22, 2021." (Sorry, NME, I'll be busy celebrating Earth Day.) To lighten the tax load, NME notes the $520,000 can also be dispersed "as 30 annual installments of $36,666,67." 

And the Sweepstakes Headquarters of the North Shore Animal League of America sends a "confirmed" and "approved" envelope announcing that I've made it to the "Phase 3" rung of its Prize Ladder and thereby qualify for a $25,000 cash prize. (Great progress, considering that I never entered the contest in the first place.) The NSALA claims it exists to spay and neuter "homeless puppies" and "motherless kittens" across the country. (So what are they doing throwing away large stacks of cash that could be used to castrate cats?) 

Biden Bids Goodbye to Afghanistan! 

After mulling aloud that he would only consider a partial pullout of US troops in Afghanistan, President Biden has announced plans for a total pullout of US forces from one of the Pentagon's longest-running resume of Endless Wars. 

Frustration with these unwinnable military adventures has been growing. The frustration reached the point where World BEYOND War's founder David Swanson, pounded off an essay that contained both a stinging headline and a lead sentence that took jibes at both the Joint Chiefs and GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz (known to some on The Hill as "the Chief Joint"). Here's Swanson's opening salvo: 

Geologists Provide Perspective on Idea of Ending War on Afghanistan in Human Historical Time Frame  

The US-led Occupation of Afghanistan may be old enough to date or marry a Congressmember, but the time that nature took to form the Grand Canyon offers a more reasonable perspective on the fantasy of ending this war in a future foreseeable and measurable by available science." 

Fortunately, the day after this article was posted, Biden announced his decision to remove US troops from Afghanistan by September 11. (Cheering news for US taxpayers ut not the best news for the Taliban.) 

PS: You can send President Biden a quick thank-you by adding your name to this letter to the White House. Caveat: There are growing concerns that the US will remain engaged in Afghanistan through the use of contractors (aka "mercenaries"), Special Operations units (aka "assassination teams"), and Air Force bombing runs (aka "boots in the air"). 

Earth Day Action: Tell Joe to "Go Green!" 

From the Climate Reality Project: "The science is clear: the world must cut emissions in half by 2030 or risk a future of runaway global warming and climate catastrophe. That’s why “nationally determined contributions” (NDCs)—commitments to reduce a country’s greenhouse gas emissions—are so critical in the Paris Climate Agreement. 

"President Biden set a fitting deadline of April 22—Earth Day—to announce the US’ NDC commitment, so we only have a brief window to make our voices heard. With a strong commitment, we’ll show the world that the US is back in the driver’s seat when it comes to bold climate action." 

(Note: "back in the driver's seat" was probably not the best phrase to use, considering all the pollution generated by driving cars.) 

Here's a link to tell President Biden to commit to cutting US emissions by at least 50 percent by 2030. 

Ask Not for Whom the Climate Clock Tolls 

For more than a generation, the world has lived with the image of the Doomsday Clock, a terrifying timepiece created by the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists (BAS) to symbolize how near the world is to nuclear self-obliteration. Now there's another clock worth consulting. 

A Climate Clock installed in New York's Union Square has been tolling out the years, days, and minutes left until the looming Climate Endtimes create a world that is so super-hot that it's no longer habitable for humans (not to mention most of the planet's other living species). 

While the BAS clock foreshadows a catastrophic "doomsday" that would kill millions in minutes, the Climate Clock warns of a slower, prolonged devastation resulting from climate change. Perhaps it should be called the "Gloomsday Clock." (Note: There are similar Climate Clocks in Paris and Berlin.) 

 

Of these two alarming clocks, it's the Doomsday timepiece that gets most of the publicity (perhaps, because the clock's minute hand is controlled by human hands and sometimes has been known to retreat counter-clockwise). The Climate Clock, which marks off our remaining days with the irreversibility of sand slipping through an hour-glass receives much less notice. An online news check reveals that the Climate Clock has been virtually ignored since it debuted on September 21, 2020 when it warned that the "tipping point" to extinction would arrive in 7 years, 102 days and 12 hours. 

On April 16, the Climate Clock was warning that humankind had less than 6 years, 259 days, and 17 hours to mend our ways. But here's some hopeful news: The Climate Clocks now feature a second countdown that shows the percentage of global energy being produced by renewables—and that number is now 12.233% and climbing. Another positive note: The CC webpage includes a "news scroll" at the bottom that lists hopeful accomplishments—e.g.: "Biden cancels Keystone XL Pipeline and rejoins Paris Climate Agreement," "Drax abandons plans to build Europe's biggest gas power plant." 

 

Meet the Companies That Profit Off Pepperspray

Thanks to the Geneva Protocol of 1925, tear gas is listed as a globally banned chemical warfare agent that cannot be legally used on the battlefield. At the same time, it's OK for cops to fire canisters at unarmed protesters in city streets. As tensions rise in cities around the world, the tear-gas industry's profits are booming. While we all know who manufactures our cars, refrigerators, and microwaves, the companies that profit from trafficking banned chemical weapons don't advertise their wares on TV and—thanks to the increasing "militarization" of our domestic police squads—they don't need to. 

So who do we have to thank for all those memorable moments that have brought tears to our eyes over the years? Well, one of the planet's largest canister corps is Combined Systems, Inc. in Jamestown, Pennsylvania. There's also SAE Manufacturing Specialties Corp (New York), CRS Chemicals (California), Defense Parts LLC (Wyoming), Middlesex Gases & Technologies, Inc. (Massachusetts), SABRE Security Equipment Corporation (makers of "Red Sabre Defense Spray": Missouri), Mil-Spec Industries (New York), and The Naval Jelly Company (Kansas City). 

PCH Strikes Again! Dear Lord, Make It Stop! 

With the Publishers Clearing House Grand Prize set to be announced in two weeks—on April 30^th—I wasn't expecting to see two new PCH envelopes arrive on the same day. Both were adorned with promising statements including: "Notice of Advance Prize Payment," "Selection of Winner Imminent," "Owners Papers Inside Confirming Rightful Ownership of $7,000 a Week for Life Prize Number." 

One envelope contained 37 sheets of paper—mostly double-sided advert fliers. A second, larger envelope was stuffed with 42 slips of advertizing and Prize Claim reply forms. 

Shocker! I just noticed that, while the PCH forms have my name and address correct, the PCH "Personal ID Number" that assures my chance to "win big," has been changing on subsequent entry forms! 

And in the final envelope, there's a trap—a form that "Must be returned with an order stamp in the enclosed reply envelope. If not ordering, you can not use this form." The same form notes in small print "No purchase or fee necessary to enter." But in order to procede without entering an order, contestants need to "go online." 

Sorry, PCH. For this "Imminent Prizewinner," that's a sign it's time to pull the plug. 

Just Got My Vaccination 

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