Columns

Georgia GOP Invited to 'Cure' the Ballots

My spirits were buoyed by the Chronicle's November 14 editorial "Trump versus the United States." The editorial reprinted the Department of Homeland Security's unassailable verdict that: "The November 3^rd election was the most secure in American History."

But I was jarred by a related newsbit in the same edition—in the last sentence of the last paragraph of the last story on the bottom of page four. The AP article was headlined "GOP Opens Money Spigot for Georgia Races" and it ended with the following report from the disputed election in Georgia: "The RNC had already sent about 100 staffers to help with fixing small errors or omissions on voter's ballots, called 'curing,' and assist with the recounts."

Just curious: Were the Democrats, Libertarians, and Green Party also invited to dispatch staffers to "cure" the ballots and "assist with the recounts"? 

Obama on Kimmel 

On November 19, late night host Jimmy Kimmel invited former president Barack Obama to plug in and plug his new book. At one point in the 25-minute interview, Kimmel asked a provocative question about the White House. "Are there places that someone could hide like, if say, they were going to be removed? Any little cubby holes or anything that you know about?" 

Obama's response was an instant classic: "Well, I think we can always send the Navy SEALS in there to take him out." 

My laughter was cut short when I heard an echo of the phrase "take him out." 

Imagine the backlash if Trump had said the same thing when Obama was in office. (PS: Threatening the president is a federal class D felony under US Code Title 18, Section 871 and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison, a maximum $250,000 fine, a $100 special assessment, and up to 3 years of supervised release. Don't mention any of this to Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani.) 

That uneasiness also popped up when Kimmel surprised Obama by screening a copy of Obama's portrait on the latest cover of InStyle magazine. Kimmel thought the portrait may have been enhanced by a few martinis but Obama said it was taken around noon. Obama then complained that: "These photographers, they mess with you"—i.e., they'll say something to distract you to capture a moment where you look unscripted. 

Kimmel noted that Obama couldn't get his revenge on the photographer since "you can't order a missile strike on their homes anymore." And, sad to say, Obama's grin simply widened 

POTUS, FLOTUS and SPOTUS 

Whether it's Barack, Donald, or Joe, the shorthand for the President of the US is always POTUS. And the First Lady is FLOTUS. VP Kamala Harris would be VPOTUS and her husband, Doug Emhof, would be SPOTUS—Second Partner of the US. 

Making the Transition from Joe to Don? 

November 14, Biden's incoming White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain went on air to defend Biden's victory: "The sooner we can get our transition experts into meeting with the folks who are planning the vaccination campaign, the more seemless the transition from a Biden presidency to a Trump presidency can be." Read that again: I think Klain got his timelines scrambled. 

Fallon Flails a Felon 

Is Trump's Faith Advisor Possessed by Demons? 

‘To say ‘no’ to President Trump would be saying ‘no’ to God, and I won’t do that,’ says televangelist Paula White. Ms. White, currently identified as Donald Trump's "Faith Adviser" is now an official member of the Trump entourage. Like Trump, she has her own mansion, she loves performing before crowds of adoring followers, and she's been married three times. 

Paula White's Re-Election Prayer For Donald Trump  

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How Do Astronauts Do Their Laundry? 

Looking at a recent photo of the quartet of newly arrived Space Station astronauts posing in their red shirts in front of the resident trio of blue-shirted colleagues, I found myself wondering: How many items of clothing each space voyager is allowed to pack, How do they manage to wash and dry their clothes; Is there is such a thing as a shower stall in Earth orbit (Forget about bathing in a zero-gravity bathtub)? 

According to Reviewed.com, stays aboard the International Space Station (ISS) last up to six months and the duds required to clothe a half-dozen ISS residents adds 900 pounds of weight to the typical space launch. 

ISS astronauts are instructed to wear their underwear for up to a week before changing to a clean pair. Thanks to the ISS's temperature-controlled hyper-clean atmosphere (and the absence of gravity) clothes don't tend to stick to the crew but since astronauts have to exercise regularly to avoid muscle loss that means working up a sweat. (Sweating in zero gravity? You don't want to think about it!) 

The astronauts' workout suits are made of high-tech materials that have been treated with antimicrobial compounds or spun from antimicrobial yarn. 

Basically, the ISS crew just keeps wearing the same clothes for weeks or months at a time. 

Eventually, the astronauts aboard the ISS incinerate their dirty laundry through atmospheric reentry. The Russian Space Agency’s resupply vessels only conduct one-way trips to the ISS so, after they deliver their cargo (including fresh clothes), they are filled with trash (and old clothes) and released to burn up upon reentry into Earth’s atmosphere. As Reviewed.com observes: "In other words, you're probably being gently showered with a tiny quantity of ash from some spaceman's dirty undies." 

Post-election Campaign Signs 

One of the mysteries of contemporary political campaigning is that — while it seems to be easy to find volunteers to slap posters on power poles and poke political campaign ads into the city's traffic islands — nobody ever volunteers to take campaign signs down after the ballots are counted and certified. 

Maybe it would be different if there were a $1-5 bounty for every campaign poster handed in to the city's Refuse and Recycling Department. 

In the meantime, if you feel the urge to purge, the Ecology Center has some guidelines on how to properly pluck and process all those political leftovers. 

First, you need to separate the paperboard from the wooden stakes or supporting wires. The stakes go in the compost bin. The thick metal wires that hold yard-signs upright can be downright dangerous for workers and equipment at the city's recycling stations so save them for the scrap metal bin. And don't put non-paper signs in your paper bin. Signs printed on stiff plastic sheets must be dropped off at the Recycling Center for special handling. Related news: a lot of campaign mailing involves pitches printed on "thick, glossy paper." To determine whether it's recyclable, try the "tear test." If it rips, it's ready. If not, it's going to landfill. 

Pole Fire Hits Comcast and City Council 

Speaking of fires erupting on power poles…. 

On November 17, an early morning couch fire ignited a utility pole and knocked out Internet connections for around 5,000 Comcast customers in Berkeley, San Pablo and Richmond. 

According to Berkeleyside, the flames “completely melted hair-like Comcast fiber cables running through the utility pole." (Comcast is owned by Xfinity, whose customers were also de-Interneted.) Many Southside businesses were impacted and the Berkeley City Council was forced to cancel the livestream of its weekly meeting. 

Did Amazon Censor This COVID-19 Book? 

Capitalism on a Ventilator: The Impact of Covid-19 in China & the US is a new anthology comparing China's rapid response to the COVID-19 outbreak with the disastrous delayed response from Donald Trump's White House. A group of US activists at the Solidarity Center is now accusing Amazon of "censoring the distribution of this book." 

The anthology's contributing authors include Ajamu Baraka, Monica Moorehead, Mumia Abu Jamal, Margaret Kimberley, Vijay Prishad, Lee Siu Hin, Sara Flounders, Carlos Martinez, Deirdre Griswold, Max Blumenthal, and the late Kevin Zeese. 

Amazon offered the following explanation for its rejection of the book: “Due to the rapidly changing nature of information around coronavirus, we are referring customers to official sources for advice about the prevention or treatment of the virus. Amazon reserves the right to determine what content we offer according to our content guidelines. Your book does not comply with our guidelines. As a result, we are not offering your book for sale.” 

The book’s table of contents and list of authors, along with four chapters, is available here. 

Amazon says it only promotes “official sources for advice” on the COVID pandemic but the defenders of Capitalism on a Ventilator counter that "Amazon has allowed books promoting wild conspiracy theories that the virus is exaggerated, a hoax, or human-made and masks and quarantines are useless. During the pandemic, Amazon has also listed products that are dangerous quack 'cures' for COVID-19." 

Amazon's critics maintain that a national policy of hostility to China has created "a wall of censorship and political repression" that fails to ask such questions as "Why has China done so much better in containing COVID-19 and saving lives?" According to the book's defenders, "China contained the virus because their free medical care and planned economic system is science-based and intensely cooperative." And it's not just China. According to the Solidarity Center, a host of socialist countries—including Cuba, Laos, Vietnam, and North Korea—have been far more effective than Trump Inc. in responding to the virus. 

Trump's Bohemian Rap-Farewell—Courtesy of Maestro Ziikos