Public Comment
ON MENTAL ILLNESS: Persistence vs. Harassment
When I was a young man, an eighteen-year-old, to be exact, I was psychotic, and I was unaware that what you do can have consequences. Some consequences of actions, even actions taken at the tender age of eighteen, even while psychotic due to a developing case of schizophrenia, can alter the course of a person's life. When you are psychotic and delusional, you do not think about these things. This is because you are delusional, and somehow you believe that your actions are necessary to save the Earth.
I learned a lesson--a hard lesson. And, in fact, much of my life when I was nineteen, when I was in my twenties, thirties, has been crap.
Harassment exists where someone doesn't want to be contacted, and where the other person is violating this expressed need. Harassment can exist in numerous contexts. Harassment causes people to lose their jobs. Even presidents of universities have lost their beloved job because they have abused their position. Harassment is a major issue in the modern world, where society is trying to evolve into something better.
Under some circumstances, harassment is legal. For example, if you are collecting on a debt, you can phone the debtor every day, for twenty years if you want, and, apparently, this is not illegal. If you are involved in a political campaign or working for a political party, harassment may not technically be legal, but this is not enforceable.
However, in modern times, sexual harassment is a crime. Most people look upon it as very immoral. President Trump did it and got away with it. This is because to Trump, the courts are a second home.
Persistence was once touted as a good quality. Persistence is where your repeated attempts at doing something are welcome. You could submit a hundred times to a pulp fiction magazine and get a hundred rejections. When it gets to be two hundred, they may get tired of you. Some cut you off after two or three rejected subs--and not at a hundred.
People can change their behavior at almost any age. This doesn't erase the aftermath of doing something disreputable. But it does look good in the eyes of "god" and of some people. Not everyone forgives easily. You do not change behavior for the purpose of pleasing someone else. You change the behavior because the initial behavior didn't work, or it wasn't appropriate, or harmed someone in some way.
My eighteenth birthday was at Gladman Psych Hospital. I think Gladman has changed completely since the time of my visit, nearly 40 years ago. It is not uncommon for people with psychiatric problems to fail to understand the word "No." But most of us, when we regain our senses, probably after being medicated (sometimes by force) will realize, no means no.
So, when trying to decide of a behavior is persistence or harassment, consider the context, and consider the specifics. And when trying to alter a behavior and finding it to be difficult to change the pattern, change begins by being able to handle the emotional pain of the situation. If you can't handle to concept and the accompanying pain that you're not getting what you think you need, deserve, and want, if you persist in denying within your own mind that you're not getting what you want, you'll have a lot of repercussions, you may lose your freedom, and other bad things could happen. The value of this realization is that you are protected from huge losses.
Jack Bragen is author of "Revising Behaviors that Don't Work," and lives in Martinez, with his wife, Joanna Bragen.