Extra

Karmic Strips

I recently clicked off a letter to the Chronicle to compliment the paper for Peter Hartlaub's online explanation of how the paper's Green Section was turned orange to commemorate the career of Giant's pitcher Buster Posey.

Now I have a related query concerning a chromatic quirk involving a Chron cartoon. Specifically: What happened to the Bumstead's blue blanket in the November 4 edition of the comic strip Blondie?

All's well in the first of the three panels where Dagwood and Blondie appear comfortably relaxing in bed but, in the second panel, the colors on their blue bedsheet suddenly start to run—actually they appear to leap! —leaving the bedcover a colorless white while streaks of blue splatter across the adjacent comics — and even over the first column on a facing newspage.

In Sherman's Lagoon (the strip above Blondie), Sherman the Shark suddenly develops stripes. In Peanuts (the strip below), the pale blue sky and iced-over skating pond are suddenly drained of color.

I checked other copies of the Nov. 4 issue in the public library and found the same weird smears. It looks like some kind of rare chemical accident damaged the blue color plate in the Chronicle's printing plant in Fremont.

In his online Posey piece, Hartlaub noted that the Chron's rare, orange-hued tribute to Buster had already become a prized on-line collectors' item. This left me to wonder if this comic-page sheet—and the rare smears that adorn it—might someday become a collectible like the "oranged" Posey edition of the Chronicle's Green Pages. 

Oh! What a Lovely Launch 

The christening and launch of the USNS Harvey Milk was remarkable for several reasons. It's not often that the Pentagon pauses to honor a gay sailor. Fortunately, the ship chosen to bear the name of a beloved Bay Area gay rights icon, was not a warship—not a battleship, not an aircraft carrier, not a nuclear-armed submarine. Instead, the chosen vessel was described as a "US Navy Fleet Oiler." Fitting, since Milk spent his life supplying good cheer, stoking civic energy and empowering others. Downside? With the COP26 climate talks underway in Glasgow, the last thing this world needs is more military ships burning oil to supply other military ships with oil to burn so the US will have the oil it needs to fight wars to secure the oil it needs to fight wars—and on and on…. 

One bright spot that I haven't seen cited is the unique staging of this historic launch. I've just spent some time online reviewing dozens of videos of Navy launching ceremonies that seem to confirm the fact that this launch was one for the record books. Whereas the typical Champaign-bottle-smashing was employed, the event's décor was remarkably non-traditional. Instead of scores of flags flapping in the wind and long swaths of red-white-and-blue banners tied about the bow rails, this launch stood apart, with dozens of bow-mounted balloons bouncing in the breeze while 80-foot-long streamers unfurled to dance in the wind as the ship slowly slid backwards into the sea. 

The decorations carried a special message: the launching the USNS Harvey Milk was not just cause for celebration; it was also an absolutely fabulous time to take pride and party. 

Biden Threatens "Sanctions" Over "Sham" Election 

I was glad to see that Nicaragua's recent election was peaceful. There were no violent protests and the voter turnout was a robust 65.34%—just shy of the "historic turnout" in last November's US election (66.2%), the greatest US voter turnout in more than a century. 

The US has called Nicaragua's election a "sham" and is threatening sanctions but, despite his onerous, autocratic actions, Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega appears to remain popular. In the US, media attention has focused on Ortega's convenient jailing of opponents but I've not seen any claims that the actual voting was "rigged." People could have refused to vote—or picketed at polling places—but a record number opted to calmly cast their ballots instead. 

Another reason to question the basis for Washington's ire: While Joe Biden won 51.3% of the popular vote in the last US presidential election, Ortega (if international polling watchdogs are correct) garnered nearly 75% of the votes cast. This may not be the outcome that Washington wanted but that doesn't mean the election wasn't democratic. 

Sometime voters feel compelled to vote for demagogues. It happened in the Philippines, it happened in Brazil, and it happened in Trumplandia. 

Remembering an Earlier Nicaragua Election 

Following the election news from Managua reminded me of my first visit to Nicaragua in 1984, when I was covering the Sandinista election victory as a freelancer for the San Francisco Chronicle. We left the airport in a van headed for the city of Granada. (This was before I discovered my passport had been stolen. Upside: I became one of the few Americans to have a passport issued by the US Embassy in Managua). 

While rolling down a two-lane highway through a dry valley populated by the occasional small farm, I noticed a military plane in the distance flying over a rising column of smoke. 

"Military exercise?" I asked the driver, pointing at the smoke. 

"No. It's a volcano," he explained with an amused smile. 

A few minutes later, there was a loud bang and the van went airborne, tossing us from our seats. 

When we recovered from the shock, I asked the driver: "Que pasa? Una bomba?" 

"No," he laughed. "Un patjole!"  

The roads are probably in better shape since the Revolution with Ortega dictating an end to Nicaragua's van-banging "potholes." 

The Inevitable, Evil Evolution of 'Working at Home' 

Jim Hightower, in the latest dispatch of his breezy newsletter, the Hightower Lowdown, reveals a scary new twist in the Craven New World of at-home employment. In an essay titled Working From Home – While Your Boss Watches You on Video, Hightower glowers at the news that "Teleperformance—a $6.7 billion global behemoth that handles customer service calls for Amazon, Apple, Uber, etc.—saves money on overhead by making most of its 380,000 employees around the world work from their own homes." Not necessarily a bad thing. Many employees have found that they don't miss the commute that comes with office employment. But there's the Bigger Problem that's becoming visible on the totalitarian horizon. "[A] new corporate policy first imposed in March on thousands of its workers in Columbia, is an Orwellian nightmare," Hightower explains: "Teleperformance is pressuring [remote workers] to sign an eight-page addendum to their employee contracts, allowing corporate-controlled video cameras, electronic audio devices, and data collection tools to be put in their homes to monitor their actions." 

Somehow, working-at-home will no longer seem so liberating once you're being watched 24-7 like the resident of a top-security detention facility. You can read more online at this link. 

Pentagon Murders Afghan Family, Shrugs, Moves On 

When a Navy nuclear sub bumped into an undersea mountain, the ship's top three commanders were given the boot. When the Pentagon murdered 10 members of an Afghan family — including 7 children — no one got fired. When Afghanis die, it's simply an "unfortunate incident." 

CODEPINK has posted a petition calling for an independent investigation, not an in-house whitewash. "The Pentagon investigated itself for killing 10 innocent civilians and found no negligence and no need for disciplinary action. This cannot stand. The Ahmadi family and all innocent civilians who have been killed by US drone strikes need justice." The petition calls on Adam Smith, Chair of the House Armed Services Committee and Senator Jack Reed, Chair of the Senate Armed Services Committee, to conduct an independent investigation into this horrific crime—and hold officials responsible.  

There's a simple cure: Stop firing missiles and start firing generals! 

Save Energy: Turning Cars Into Cottages 

Longtime pro-nature/anti-car crusader Mike Vandeman recently sent out a ten-step action list for saving "energy money & water." Most were familiar (turn off electric appliances when not in use; recycle tub water to irrigate your food garden) but the last one was new to me, and here it is: "10. What will we do with all our unneeded petroleum-fueled cars? They can be used to solve two problems at once! Whenever we retire a motor vehicle, it should be put into a legal parking space, and the keys should be given to a homeless person. They will have a secure place to sleep, and the loss of a parking space will help reduce the use of motor vehicles. Of course, we should provide public bathrooms, as Europe does."  

Spring Ahead, Fall Back, Stumble, Collapse in a Heap 

The bright-eyed folks at the Care2 Petitions Team have set their sights on another major nemesis threatening the well-being of human society—Daylight Savings Time. 

DST—that twice-yearly time-switch that disrupts bodies, baffles brains and muddles lives—was initially introduced to benefit coal companies and farmers. But do our current socioeconomic realities still need this outdated time-tinkering ritual? Care2 says, "No!" and has posted a petition to Stop Daylight Saving Time and opt for more light all year long! 

According to Care2, DST "costs our societies money, increases sleep deprivation and traffic collisions, and is bad for our mental health! Particularly now, after living for years in a global pandemic…, huge amount of humans suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which means that the winter months bring on symptoms of depression. Choosing to put the whole world on Daylight Saving Time would help this condition tremendously by giving all of us more light during the hours we are awake…. Our circadian rhythms are sensitive and need consistency." 

Publishers Clearing House Wants Me Back 

After a brief separation (initiated on my side of the relationship), the inhabitants of the Publishers Clearing House announced their return with a flurry of new mailings—including five oversized, over-stuffed envelopes that showed up in my PO box on a single day. Despite the fact that I continue to ignore them, PCH has revived the one-sided courtship with weekly dispatches of schlocky merchandise offers promoted with multiple personalized notes pledging support, love, and enduring wealth. 

"Gar," read the outside of one recent foot-long envelope, "You're a true VIP Elite — our HIGHEST level —and we thank you for your ongoing Sweepstakes Loyalty." And once again (as so many times before) PCH proclaimed there was "only 1 final step left to win" the latest monthly prize—in this case, "$500,000 at once and $5,000 a week for life!" Not enough? In that case, PCH is throwing in a bonus—a Ford Explorer Hybrid worth $53,995. 

A note from PCH's Susan Williamson includes the names of ten PCH winners from California, including three from Berkeley: Kyndal Clemons, Stuart Reinsch\ch, and Leslie Tibbetts. 

"Congratulations," the PCH pitch proclaims: "You have every right to be proud. Your history of being a valued customer has brought you here and made you one of our very best customers." That's a bit of an overstatement given that I once ordered a 50-piece colored pen set from PCH as an experiment. After waiting five months for the pens to arrive, PCH sent a note explaining that the shipment had been delayed. It's been another three months and I'm still waiting for my pens. 

Lawmaker Grills Execs with M&Ms and Bags of Rice

During Porter’s interrogation of Shell President Gretchen Watkins, the Orange County congresswoman picked up a clear glass jar brimming with M&Ms. If each mint were worth about $50 million, Porter proposed, the entire jug would be worth more than the $22 billion Shell’s 2020 annual report claimed was available to spend on renewable energy projects. But, as Porter noted (as she slowly began to empty the jug of M&Ms), Shell was only planning to spend $2-$3 billion on renewables this year while spending "between $16 billion and $17 billion on oil, gas, and chemical operations," with another $3 billion going towards marketing. 

“Mrs. Watkins, to me, this does not look like an adequate response to one of the ‘defining challenges of our time,’” Porter said, quoting Watkins’ own testimony. “This is greenwashing.” 

In another brilliant confrontation with Corporate America, Porter offered an indelible depiction of how many acres of Federal land is currently in the custody of private industry. Porter held up a single grain of rice to represent "one acre" of federal land. And how many "public" acres were in the clutches of commercial exploiters? To answer that question, Porter (broadcasting remotely from the driveway of her SoCal home) clicked the hatch on the car parked behind her to reveal a trunk stuffed with 49 huge bags of rice. 

Enjoy the three videos of Porter the Mortar blowing up a series of corporate facades. And, in the third video, be sure to check out the "vanity plate" on Porter's hatchback. 

And here's a bonus clip of Porter slamming a Big Pharma exec: 

Porter's vanity plate reads: OVRSITE 

A Carbon-Capture Send-up from the Saucy Aussies 

With the COP26 climate talks steaming ahead in Glasgow, I received the following two irreverent reports on the progress of over-heated pollution-politics from Down Under. Warning: Listener discretion advised: