Let's Bill Billionaire Bezos and Other Big-buck Bozos

On July 20, Amazon honcho Jeff Bezos—a Master of the Universe with a net worth of $202 billion according to Forbes’ “Real-Time Billionaires List"—was not just the richest man on Earth, he also became the richest person in space.

Bezos was July's second billionaire astronaut. Music and airline magnate Sir Richard Branson (worth a piddling $5 billion) had become history's first billionaut just nine days earlier. (Tesla Titan and former Saturday Night Live guest host Elon Musk—net worth: $160 billion—plans to blast into space as well, with his eyes set on colonizing Mars.)

Meanwhile, there are a lot of serious problems erupting down on Earth that are not being addressed by these self-absorbed, star-gazing, macho-moneybag stunt-meisters. That's why Public Citizen has come up with an immodest proposal.

As Public Citizen president Robert Weissman explains, under PC's proposed Terra Tariff, "billionauts returning from orbit must plunk down 10% of their net worth as a landing fee to return to Earth. Let's call it the 'Billionaire Astronaut Reentry Fee'—BARF, for short." The BARF would apply only to billionauts, Weissman clarified, "not to sub-billionaire passengers or crew." (Note: despite his ginormous wealth, Bezos has managed to avoid paying federal taxes.)

For Bezos, the BARF would be $20.2 billion—which sounds like a lot but it's actually less than the increase in Bezos' net worth in just the past three months.

Public Citizen calculates that the Bezos BARF could raise nearly enough money to vaccinate enough people to end the global COVID-19 pandemic. So, if these costly and polluting billionaire blast-offs make you feel like you want to BARF, add your name here. 

Jupiter Fly-by 

Good news: you don't need a billionaire to explore space. 

That's because NASA has been using taxpayer-financed space-missions to explore the universe remotely. In a recently released 3.5-minute, time-lapse animation from the Juno space mission, arm-chair astronauts can experience what it looks like to soar within 645 miles of Jupiter's largest moon, Ganymede—at 41,600 miles per hour. (The lighter and darker sections of the moon's surface are believed to the result of sublimation as ice changes from a solid to a gaseous state. Also on display, the crater Tros, one of Ganymede's most prominent landmarks.) 

With an ethereal soundtrack by Vangelis, the animation then proceeds from Ganymede to Jupiter. In real-time, the 735,000-mile journey takes14 hours and 50 minutes but, within seconds, Earth-bound spectators are brought within 2,100 miles of Jupiter's famous clouds. And hold on as Jupiter's powerful gravitation speeds the probe's passage to nearly 130,000 miles per hour. 

Don't Count Yore Egg-corns Before They're Hutched 

Merriam-Webster tells us an "eggcorn" is "a word or phrase rendered incorrectly due to a mishearing or misspelling." Case in point: saying "eggcorn" when you're pointing your finger at an acorn. The word was invented by linguist Geoffrey Pullum in 2003 but it's taking a while for it to catch on. Here are some other examples: 

• day-today operations (instead of day-to-day) 

• for all intensive purposes (instead of intents and purposes) 

• the city is teaming with evil gangs (instead of teeming) 

• the sun will eventually die and we’ll all hurdle to our intergalactic deaths (instead of hurtle) 

More than 640 other egg-samples can be found at the The Eggcorn Database. 

I Scream Day (Yep, Another Eggcorn) 

National Ice Cream Day was celebrated on July 17—the third Sunday of the month, as decreed by Ronald Reagan in 1984. According to Google, some of the earliest fans of the Cold Scoop included the Roman Emperor Nero, Alexander the Great, and King Solomon. Fun fact: The first American ice cream recipe—an 18-step process—was crafted by Founding Father Thomas Jefferson. 

VanLeeuwen Ice Cream marked Ice Cream Day by conspiring with Kraft Foods to concoct the world's first Mac & Cheese ice cream. (VanLeeuwen's other frozen concoctions include Earl Grey Tea Ice Cream and Vegan Peanut Butter Brownie Honeycomb Ice Cream.) 

If you want to give Mac & Cheese ice cream a try, here's a serving suggestion: skip the chocolate syrup and try a topping of tomato catsup. 

And here's a tip from a Berkeley frozen-food aficionado: Try out the Caramel Balsamic ice cream from the Raxakoul Coffee and Cheese shop on Hopkins Street. Word is, "it's divine." 

Ice Cream and Israel 

On July 19, CODEPINK announced that Ben & Jerry’s will cease selling its ice cream in illegal Israeli settlements, a move that was cheered by the Boycott, Divest and Sanctions (BDS) movement.  

The Vermont-based company issued a statement that read: “We believe it is inconsistent with our values for Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to be sold in the Occupied Palestinian Territory (OPT)." B&J stated it would not renew a partnership with its Israeli franchise licensee when the current agreement expires at the end of 2022. 

An announcement tweeted by Ben & Jerry’s parent company, Unilever, stated that the company would “stay in Israel through a different arrangement.” But, that "arrangement" had not been approved by the independent board that oversees B&J's overseas operations. A new agreement would require board approval and board chairperson Anuradha Mittal (executive director of the Oakland-based Oakland Institute) who is "known for her commitments to ending wars and achieving racial justice, hinted that that will not happen." 

Peanut Butter and Petroleum Jelly 

Speaking of food, someone sent me an old newspaper ad for Vaseline (aka Petroleum Jelly). The ad was so old that the price displayed on the jar was just ten cents. The ad also showed a label that included the boast: "So Pure You Can Eat It!" 

That stirs some childhood memories. Oh how I miss those good old days when mom would send me off to school with a lunchbox filled with my favorite snack: a peanut butter and petroleum jelly sandwich—washed down with a cold can of carbonated kerosene. 

Earth's Greatest Enemy  

Abby Martin, the director of the 2019 documentary Gaza Fights For Freedom, is hard at work on a second feature film, Earth's Greatest Enemy —an anti-imperialist environmental documentary. The filmmakers are appealing for funding to complete the film. They write: "We urgently need donations to make this film a reality. If you want to support this hard-hitting environmental film that exposes the US war machine, you can make tax-deductible donations. "Individuals or organizations who raise or contribute $10,000 or more will be listed as an Executive Producer on the film. Donors of $1,000 or more will have their name listed in the film credits." More information at “Empire Files Inc.,” PO Box 42085, Los Angeles CA 90042." 

Stop Excluding Military Pollution from Climate Agreements 

World BEYOND War is leading a coalition effort asking attendees to the November 1-12 COP26 UN Climate Change Conference in Glasgow to address greenhouse gas emissions from military operations. The US military is one of the planet's leading sources of planet-cooking pollution but it is not required to reduce—or even to report—its contribution to our climate emergency. 

As usual in these situations, there's a petition to be signed. Here's the link, http://cop26.info, and here are some highlights from the petition:  

As a result of final-hour demands made by the US government during negotiation of the 1997 Kyoto treaty, military greenhouse gas emissions were exempted from climate negotiations…. 

The UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, obliges signatories to publish annual greenhouse gas emissions, but military emissions reporting is voluntary and often not included…. 

There is no reasonable basis for this gaping loophole. War and war preparations are major greenhouse gas emitters…. There must be no more exception for military pollution. 

We ask COP26 to set strict greenhouse gas emissions limits that make no exception for militarism, include transparent reporting requirements and independent verification, and do not rely on schemes to "offset" emissions. 

[Full Disclosure: I'm a member of the WBW board.] 

Can You Really Have It Both Ways? 

On July 14, former 49ers cornerback Richard Sherman was arrested after trying to break into an in-law's house in Washington State—after fleeing from the wreckage of his crashed Mercedes. 

According to the Chronicle, Sherman was charged with "driving under the influence, reckless endangerment of roadway workers, second-degree criminal trespass, third-degree malicious mischief and resisting arrest." 

Following his release, Sherman posted an apology on Twitter that read: “I am deeply remorseful for my actions on Tuesday night. I behaved in a manner I am not proud of. I have been dealing with some personal challenges over the last several months, but that is not an excuse for how I acted." 

Then, having apologized profusely for his behavior, he entered a plea of "not guilty." 

Sierra Club Appeal Strikes a Troubling Note 

I was delighted to hear an activist radio spot sponsored by the Sierra Club. It was the first time I'd heard an environmental group make a broadcast-pitch over the AM dial. The Sierra Club spokesperson was aiming critical darts at the Public Utilities Commission for refusing to adequately protect the state's waterways from the impacts of a historic drought. 

The next day, I got a letter from the Club praising President Biden's pledge to protect "30 percent of our lands and waters by the year 2030." The letter included an invitation to send a "Matching Grant" to secure $300,000 in added funding for the Club's good works. 

There was a big problem in the messaging, however. Given the intensity of the out-of-control wildfires now consuming hundreds of square miles of our Western forests, I wish the Sierra Club's copywriter had come up with a different slogan to encourage participation. 

Instead, the invitation on the outside of the envelope read: "Ignite our movement. BE THE MATCH." 

Poetic Licenses 

Here's another list of license-plates-about-town. Some time ago, out on the roadways, I spotted a classic 1951 PowerGlide Chevy with a license plate that read: COOL 51. More recently, I found myself wondering if the driver of a mysterious van was a master of Asian martial arts. His plate read: BLKNNJA. Also seen around town, a Chevy (presumably owned by an animal veterinarian) that not only bore a plate that read DOG+NRS (Dog Nurse?) but also featured a frame that proclaimed: "My basset hound can lick your Honor Student." The car also sported a political bumpersticker that proclaimed: "I Bark for Barack." 

In West Berkeley, I spotted an eco-green mini-Cooper with the plate: "FOODWEB." And then there was a Toyota Prius with a plate that read: "WITHER." 

At first, I thought the driver might be signaling dismay over the compounding consequences of our historic drought. But then I noticed a sticker for Elizabeth Warren and understood the intended message was: "WITH HER." 

Getting in Step with Frisco's Frisky Nickelettes  

On July 27, Denise Larson's new book, Anarchy in High Heels, is set to strut onstage and the author wants to make it clear: this dishy Sixties retrospective of SF's notorious cabaret rebels is about more than flashy haute couture—"it's not a state of dress: it’s a state of mind." 

Anarchy relives the combustive emergence of a talented feminist troupe that transformed a San Francisco porno theater into a Palace of Femme Arts. 

The year was 1972, a "burn-your-bra era" in which "young ladies" were learning to become strong women by renouncing conservative 1950s values and embracing liberation. 

According to the press notes: "Denise Larson was a timid 24-year-old actress wannabe when, at an after-hours countercultural event called The People’s Nickelodeon, she accidently created Les Nickelettes," a rebel cohort of rambunctious women driven by an "anything-goes spirit" and "a deeply hidden female humor." Once these hidden satirical thoughts began to soar and sing onstage, Les Nickelettes won acclaim as "a brazen women’s lib troupe" whose "feminist skits, stunts, and musical comedy" prompted The Bay Guardian to salute them as “nutty, trashy, and very funny.” 

Larson tells the tale of the Nickelettes from her insider's perspective as playwright, stage director, producer, and administrative/artistic director.  

The Kirkus Review crows: “The engrossing book addresses the importance of empowering marginalized individuals, who have so much to say. … A meaningful, feminist joyride that travels back in time. 

You can join the author in person (or virtually) at 6PM on July 27 at SF's Green Apple Books (1231 9^th Avenue). 

Meanwhile, here's a taste of Les Nickelettes from their archives on YouTube. 

The Seductive South African Song that Has the Whole World Dancing 

I recently discovered what appears to be the biggest global musical phenomenon since the debut of Despacido, a musical pandemic that spread around the globe in 2017. Jerusalema, a written by Master KG and performed by Nomcebo Zikode. Kgaogelo "Master KG" Moagi is a South African musician, a record producer, and the creator of a song that has circled the world and inspired millions to dance in the streets and on the dust of every continent. While the lyrics are simple and oblique ("Jerusalem, my home. Save me! Join me, Don't leave me here!"), the music is irresistible and a spirited flash-mob dance has grown up around the song. 

Jerusalema has brought people into the streets in Africa, Asia, Europe, the Americas, and the Middle East—with joyous performances in both Israel and Palestine. There are scores of renditions on YouTube (including versions with dancing toddlers, Swiss police, Catholic nuns, European monks, doctors and nurses, and fans from Madagascar, to San Francisco). The list of "dance challenges" appears to be endless—and growing. 

Here are some top picks. 

Jerusalem Master KG and Nomcebo: Official Video

Jerusalema: Worldwide Airlines Dance Challenge

Jerusalema: Top 10 Dance Challenge

After watching joyous videos from scores of countries around the world, a thought arose: Why—with such music and dancing to unite us—do we still have wars? 

Alas, instead of finding an answer, I encountered a new twist to this enigma. On July 11, news broke that Master KG and Nomcebo Zikode are fighting with each other over the song's royalties.