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High-Caliber Christians

I just saw a fellow on the news proclaiming his undying fealty to Donald Trump. He was wearing a blood-red cap that read: "God Guns Trump."

Apparently the Fifth Commandment ("Thou Shalt Not Kill") is trumped by the Second Amendment ("Thou Shalt Bear Arms").

Meanwhile, Trump's First Commandment continues to be: "I am the Lord, thy God! Thou shalt have no other Gods but me!"

Nicknames for T****

In November 2020, Late Show host and recent Peabody Award-winner Stephen Colbert took an oath to no longer allow Donald Trump's name to be heard or seen on his late-night broadcast. But that presented a challenge: How do you refer to DJT without uttering his name? Answer: create some utterly ridiculous nicknames.

Here are a few that Colbert, his writers, and his audience have come up with: The Former Guy. Eric's Dad. Douche Nozzle. Orange Shrek. Mango Unchained. Traffic Cone of Treason. Girth Vader. Previous Occupant of the Oval Office (POOO). And Penis Pumpkinhead. 

Penis Perils Grab the Spotlight 

Speaking of penises: On his July 1 Late Show, Stephen Colbert interrupted his opening monologue with a "Breaking Meanwhile" report on the status of an unidentified man who had suffered a "vertical fracture of his penis" during a rowdy bout of sex. 

"Horizontal fractures" are known to occur, according to medical professionals who report that they are usually accompanied by a loud "popping sound." But this unprecedented "vertical fracture" was described as a "medical first." 

Colbert assured the audience that the victim has fully recovered but noted "it was a bit awkward when he asked his friends to sign the cast." 

In the course of this coarse discourse, Colbert accomplished a rare "media first": he managed to utter the word "penis" nine times within a single minute of public airtime. That could qualify him for a second broadcasting prize: the Peebody Award. 

Doxxed by President Iván Duque 

Back in mid-June, I emailed embattled Colombian President Iván Duque Márquez to express concern over the government's violent attacks on young street protestors. I had written such letters in the past and typically received polite letters in return. This time, however, I received a message with the following subject line: Re: OFI21-00086955 / IDM: Respuesta sobre apreciaciones relacionadas con el Derecho a la Reunión y a la Manifestación Pública y Pacífica en Colombia. But it didn't end there. Within hours, I found my email box inundated with multiple copies of the same letter. No other emails could get through as Duque's decoy deluge continued to fire off the same message every 4 to 7 minutes. 

The message (addressed to: "Señor(a) GAR SMITH") contained codes and passwords linking to other documents from El Presidente and ended with an invitation to fill out a "survey." I couldn't unlock the codes and the passwords didn't work. That may have been a good thing. I checked with a family member who spent several years living in Colombia who told me he had also been targeted by Duque's e-mailstorm. 

"Duque has a petty and deplorable way of responding to criticism—and discouraging future complaints. The public release of individual letters—along with names and other contact information—should be illegal. It's especially troublesome given the government's history of targeting critics. 

"I’ve gotten over 200 [copies of the same email]. They’re just spamming us intentionally. The 'documents' are just copies of all the letters that people sent in with their names, phone numbers and addresses available for all to see. Doxxing on a governmental level. I had to block them." 

Castigated by Kos 

In a June 27 interview in The Atlantic, former US Attorney General William Barr attempted to distance himself from the lies and crimes of the former US President. And, once again, the Oakland-based Daily Kos showed its talent for spicy, insult-peppered journalism (aka "scornalism") in an article titled: "William Barr dishes on McConnell's cowardice, Trump as 'madman' in self-serving version of events." 

If scornalism has become a "thing," at least the Daily Kos does it better than almost anyone. Here's a single sentence from an article on Barr's mea non culpa, authored by a commentator who opines under the pen-name "Hunter": 

"So again we have a situation in which everyone around Trump was pretty damn certain he had gone off the rails, jumped the trolley, sprung a brain-leak, and had become devoid of marbles but nobody in government, from Secret Service on down, was willing to toss him in a burlap sack, tie it shut, and declare that Mike Pence was taking charge because the sitting president had developed a serious case of bananapants." 

Kos Facing Costs 

The Kos crew, like the rest of the non-commercial media, is stressed by the "astronomical growth of Big Tech like Google, Amazon, and Facebook that have dominated digital advertising, the migration of people getting their news from social media and the buying and selling of news media companies to the highest bidder followed by downsizing for maximum profit." 

The Daily Kos prides itself on its role as "the country's first and only participatory, grassroots-funded, news and activism hub" and provides this short-list of everyday accomplishments: 

"We never promote a false balance; we actively take sides and give you ways to take action on the news you are reading. So far in 2021, Daily Kos readers and activists have taken over 18 million actions—signing petitions, making donations to progressive causes and Democratic candidates, attending rallies, volunteering to turn out voters in special elections, making phone calls and sending letters to elected officials." 

Karmic Strips  

The June 27 edition of Stephan Pastis' Chronicle comic strip, Pearls Before Swine, presents Pastis' cartoon alter ego sharing memories of his happy days as a UC Berkeley student with a recent Berkeley grad name Julia. 

"I loved my last year at Cal," Pastis recounts. "The campus activities… Drinking at 'Henry's'… The football games with Aaron Rodgers… Basketball games with Jason Kidd… going to 'Top Dog' for late night hot dogs… and just getting to know all the other students, like at the Daily Cal meetings and the protests where we occupied Sproul Hall. And, of course, graduation at Zellerbach Hall. My whole family was there." 

And then Pastis asked Julia: "How about you? How'd you enjoy the experience?" 

Julia, looking bleak and on the verge of tears, replies: "I sat in my bedroom and stared at a computer screen." 

Karmic Strips 2 

Ray Billingsley's strip Curtis features a number of running gags: Curtis tormenting his little brother Barry; Curtis getting stiffed by his couldn't-care-less, would-be-girl-friend Michelle; and Curtis making fun of the Church ladies' flamboyant hats during Sunday services. Another running joke involves Curtis' visits to "Soul Scissors," a local barbershop whose owner—a bald barber named Gunther—makes a habit of greeting Curtis by the wrong name (in the June 27 strip, it was "Carmine" and "Quavon"). Another running gag is the "service notes" pinned to the walls of Gunther's salon. 

Last week's collection included the following: "Seniors Free—100 and Up," "Whiny Children Triple the Price," "Hair Curled, Glued-on, Stapled," "Hair Tattoos for Insecure Baldies," and "No Manscaping Below the Neck." 

Karmic Strips 3 

Darren Bell's June 27 Candorville strip contained what may be a cartoon first. In the last panel of the Sunday strip, two characters are speaking at the same time and the "word balloons" that hover over their heads appear to intersect—overlapping like a Venn diagram. They are literally "speaking over each other." 

China Gets It's Mojo On  

China's been taking a lot of heat lately, with some progressive Democrats complaining that the militant swipes at Beijing inserted in the White House's Infrastructure Plan amount to Sinophobia and China-bashing. 

America's Corporate-Political Complex (which some would argue constitutes the country's real "Deep State") seems ready to go to war—not because China is sending naval vessels to patrol the Gulf of Mexico but simply because China has become a major competitor in the contest over control of global resources and markets. 

In 2020, nearly three-fourths of the worlds leading commercial entities were based in the US. Some 56 major brands constitute 74% of leading global commerce, representing earnings of $7.1 trillion. Why, then, is Wall Street/Washington so POed at the Chinese? Because China now accounts for 14% of world commerce (nearly twice that of Europe's, which controls over 8% of the planetary marketplace). US capitalists are smarting at the earnings of Chinese companies like tech giant Pinduoduo ($9.5 billion), Tiktok ($16.9 billion), and the liquor giant Moutai ($53.8 billion), which has doubled in value over the past year. 

Meanwhile, China is endearing itself with the world's environmental activists. According to the UN's Food and Agriculture Organization, over the past two decades (1990-2020) China has expanded its global "leaf area" by 25%, a government-backed "greening" that has transformed deserts and farmland into grasslands and forests. 

Since 1950s, 93.24% of Maowusu, one of China's largest deserts, has been covered with carbon-absorbing vegetation. According to Asia Times, China has ordered more than 60,000 soldiers in the Peoples Liberation Army to plant trees instead of flags, making China a world leader in restoring and creating new forests to mitigate climate change. (Imagine US Marines called back from overseas bases to fight wildfires and replant scored forests here at home!) 

China really knows how to kick Washington's rear. Mere days after the US landed a rover on Mars, China parked its own rover on the same planet. Here's the view from China's rover. (Look for the strange apparitions in the Martian sky beginning at 1:18 minutes.): 

And here's the view from NASA's Perserverance rover: 

On the competition front: After the US refused to include Chinese taikonauts to join the astronauts aboard the International Space Station (ISS), China responded by building its own exclusive space station—Tiangong ("Heavenly Palace)—and announcing it would be opening its doors to space explorers from "developing countries." In another stride for inclusivity, China announced that all three of its taikonauts have come from "peasant backgrounds." And, in a final dig at DC, China notes that it's Heavenly Palace will likely be the only space station remaining in earth orbit after the ISS is retired in 2018. 

"We Plotted. We Lied": Exxon-Mobil Pranked by Greenpeace 

Greenpeace UK pulled off an incredible media stunt that captured top executives of Exxon-Mobil admitting—on video!—that they intentionally misled the public, conspired to finance bogus science, and supported "shadow organizations" that tried to debunk evidence of climate change. 

British Greenpeacers working with an "investigative unit" called Unearthed, masqueraded as corporate "head-hunters" during their filmed interviews. In one online chat, top Exxon lobbyist Keith McCoy confided that Big Oil was only pretending to support a "carbon tax" because the oil barons believe "It is a non-starter. Nobody is going to propose a [carbon] tax." In the meantime, McCoy grinned, it gives Exxon a useful "talking point" to quiet critics. 

McCoy (who appears to be based in San Francisco) added a bonus. He openly named the 11 key US senators that Big Oil quietly relies on to work its will in Washington. The list of McCoy's decoys starts with West Virginia Democrat Joe Manchin. In the interview, McCoy calls Manchin a "kingmaker" because he chairs the Energy and Natural Resources Committee. Other senators on board with Big Oil include: John Barrasso (R-WY), Shelley Moore Capito (R-WV), Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ), John Tester (D-MT), Chris Coons (D-DE), John Cornyn (R-TX), Steve Daines (R-MT), Marco Rubio (R-FL), Maggie Hassan (D-NH) and Mark Kelley (D-AZ). 

Here is a BBC Channel 4 news video featuring Greenpeace's reporting coup: 

Ex-NRA Head Spoofed Over Pro-Gun Speech at Faked Graduation  

Last month, David Keene, a former president of the National Rifle Association, eagerly flew to Las Vegas to deliver a commencement speech to the students at the James Madison Academy. But instead of a crowd of young students, Keene found himself facing a huge field filled with 3,044 empty chairs—each one representing a young American killed by gun violence. 

It turned out that the event was an elaborate hoax conceived by Manuel and Patricia Oliver, the parents of a student gunned down in the 2018 massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High. Keene believed he was giving a "rehearsal speech" for graduating students at the nonexistent Las Vegas academy. 

“There are some who will continue to fight to gut the Second Amendment," Keene told absolutely no one. "But I’d be willing to bet that many of you will be among those who stand up and prevent them from succeeding.” 

No one applauded. 

"He's Indicted and It Feels So Good" 

Founders Sing