Columns

The Times Mocks Trump's Demise

One couldn't hope for a more fitting news item to mark the end of Donald Trump's Reign of Error than the ballyhooed demolition of his failed Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City. The New York Times aimed a few more parting darts at Trump's sagging ego when they wrote off the explosive destruction of this monument to debt and mismanagement with a lede sentence that basically translated to "Meh."

Typically, the demolition of a major high-rise would draw spectacle-hungry press attention and huge crowds. Not so much this time. As Times reporter Tracey Tully wrote: "It was not the biggest or the best implosion ever. An auction for the right to detonate the dynamite. . . fizzled."

As Atlantic City Mayor Marty Small put it: "Today is truly a great day in the great city of Atlantic City."

Hopefully, the final collapse of this 39-story eyesore will serve as a metaphor for Trump's failed ambitions. In the aftermath of his attempted anti-democratic rebellion, may the all the remaining monoliths bearing his name eventually be reduced to piles of smoking rubble. 

The GOP's Pistol-packin' MAGA Mamas 

Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene once proposed that removing Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could be accomplished with "a bullet to the head." Speaker Pelosi has every right to be concerned at the news that MTG wants to carry her personal firearms into the Capitol's hallowed halls. And it's not just the green (not Green) rep. from the Peach State who's got bullets on the brain. GOP comrade-in-arms and fellow QAnon advocate Lauren Boebert (a first-time rep from Colorado) is also insisting that she has a right to carry her personal arsenal onto Capitol grounds—despite long-standing rules banning such practices. At least Boebert has some personal history to back up her claim: She comes from the town of Rifle where she owns an open-carry diner called the "Shooters Grill." 

More Bad Data Points 

An NPR/Ipsos poll has found that 17 percent of Americans polled believe the QAnon conspiracy that Democrats are Deep State-allied, blood-sucking pedophiles. Another 37 percent of the respondents said they weren't sure, one way or the other. That's a majority—54 percent. 

How the Pandemic Benefits the Pentagon 

Here's another downside of the COVID pandemic lockdowns and job losses. From Foreign Policy magazine: 

"A meager job market has given military recruitment a boost around the world, the Wall Street Journal reports. In Canada, applications to join the armed services surged 37 percent over the last nine months of 2020 compared to the previous year. Australia reported a 9.9 percent annual increase in applications. The United Kingdom met its military recruitment targets for the first time in seven years and in the United States, 92 percent of eligible personnel re-enlisted, compared to just 83 percent the previous year." 

To which, World BEYOND War director David Swanson adds: "Plus, if you join up, you're basically joining an ongoing super-spreader event in which 1/3 of US troops decline to get vaccine while 0% are allowed to decline to bomb children." 

US Cops Killed 376 Unarmed Citizens in 2020 

The February issue of The Progressive notes that America's "peace officers" killed a record number of fellow citizens in 2020. More than a third of the 1,000 victims (376) were unarmed: more than half (568) were "people of color." The magazine features a two-page spread of photos showing 13 unarmed Black victims of police bullets (including Breonna Taylor and Andre Maurice Hill). In only one of these cases was a police officer arrested and ordered to face trial. The accused officer, Michael Owen Jr., stood apart from the others: he was the only officer who was Black. 

‘We the People’ Gone From White House Website?

When Donald Trump trudged into the Oval Office, he pulled the plug on "We the People" but the public outcry over the loss of the wildly popular sounding-board was so intense that Trump was forced to restore the petition page—which promptly began to fill with anti-Trump complaints. (One petition. demanding that Trump release his tax returns, garnered 1.1 million signatures.) Trump's response was, well, not to respond. He literally ignored "We the People." 

Now that Joe Biden has settled into the We the People weblink used to take visitors to a display of all the active petitions. (Here is an archive of what it looked like before Biden took office.) Now, however, the link just drops people off on the front steps of the White House main page. 

On February 15, a staff writer at AntiWar.com reported on the mystery: "I explored the [White House] website and could not find any mention of it. The link used to appear in both the 'Contact' and 'Get Involved' links, but it is gone from both. I have seen nothing about this in the media .… Wikipedia says that the system was taken down the day Biden took office." 

As of February 18, We the People was still missing-in-action. As Antiwar.com put it: "This is a terrible event, and it must be publicized, and Biden must be made to reverse this decision." 

Publishers Clearing House Closes In 

I'm still getting increasingly fervid letters from Publishers Clearing House letting me know that "in just days!" I will be eligible for win "$5,000 a week for life." (Now upgraded to "$10,000 a week for life.") Two days ago, an envelope arrived (from PCH's "Department of Contest Dispatch," no less!) alerting me to prepare to respond to another envelope set to arrive "in days." As with every other mailing PCH sends out, this one was stuffed with scores of printed "buy-this" offers for magazines, wearables, and household knickknacks. The main offer this time was "Microwave Bowl Huggers!" described as an "Incredible Best Seller!" 

PCH proclaims that it's not necessary to buy anything to win. But I finally succumbed when I discovered an offer for a "9-in-1 Tactical Pen" that was not only a writing tool, but a flashlight, police whistle, bottle opener, screwdriver, self-protection device and an emergency escape tool. It was a bit disappointing to discover the TacPen had been shipped with a dead battery. 

Yesterday, the latest promised envelope arrived in my mailbox—a bright yellow and oversized bundle that carried an enticement ("Special Double Prize Upgrade In This Notice") and a warning ("Final Step Required. You are now only ONE (1) STEP AWAY from being in COMPLETE COMPLIANCE with winner selection standards"). "Winner Selection Imminent," it proclaimed in bright red letters. "Must be awarded February 28." 

And what's up for purchase in this round? Eviscerating the envelope, I discovered 50 product coupons and 24 magazine subscriptions on tap. Among the buyables: The Egg-Pod Microwave Egg Cooker. A Sit and Be Fit Diabetes Workout DVD. Gel-Bead Air Fresheners. A Vinyl Tub Mat Hair Catcher. A Kitchen Slicer and Chopper. A Decorative Bill-paying Organizer. A Power-Blaster Hose Nozzle. A Set of Five Amish Cookbooks. An Ultrasonic Pest Repeller. A Lighthouse Wall Clock. A Die-Cast Replica of a 1966 Chevrolet Corvette. 

Karmic Strips 

On Valentine's Day, 10 of the Chronicle's 23 Sunday Comics referenced the holiday—with more than 100 variously sized hearts scattered across four pages of newsprint. (Note: The count included two heart-shaped pizzas.) The first panel of Greg Evans' LuAnn strip was somewhat remarkable for featuring a twenty-something couple in bed, apparently naked. But it was the "heartless" strips that really scored on Valentine Sunday. 

Gary Trudeau's Doonesbury dared to call out a popular (and heavily advertized) "memory enhancing" drug by name. In the strip's second panel, a TV ad declares: "Prevagen is the only placebo proven to stimulate denial in older adults with memory loss. . . . Ask your pharmacist if spending $1,100 a year on Prevagen is right for you." (Trudeau must have a good team of libel lawyers standing by.) 

And in Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Patis targeted unregulated capitalism in a six-panel presentation that begins with Rat excoriating people who complain about poor working wages. "I did research and, guess what," Rat proclaims: "Since 1978, the average American worker had an 11% increase in compensation. So, take that you whiny little peons!" 

Asked how much CEO pay has changed, Rat replies: "I'm sure it's about the same. Here it is. Since 1978, CEO pay has grown . . . 940%" 

In the last panel, Rat is shown standing atop a table, brandishing a pitchfork and a torch and threatening to "foment a revolution." 

How to Write About Iran 

In a recent posting on McSweeney's (passed along by a professor and peace-activist in Iran), Ladane Nasseri (a former Middle East correspondent for Bloomberg) offers a 20-point checklist for Western reporters who are assigned to write articles about Iran. Some examples: 

• "Always refer to Iran as the 'Islamic Republic' and its government as 'the regime' or, better yet, 'the Mullahs.'" 

"Never refer to Iran's foreign policy. The correct terminology is its 'behavior.' When US officials say Iran 'must change its behavior' and 'behave like a normal country,' write those quotes down word for word. Everyone knows that Iran is a delinquent kid that always instigates trouble and must be disciplined," 

"To illustrate your article, pick a photo of brown, bearded men screaming with fists punching the air…." 

"If your article is about Iran-US relations (and even if it is not), include a photo of a woman in a head-to-toe black chador…." 

How to Write About Russia 

Another classic piece of media foreign policy propaganda is writing about Russia and reducing the country and all its vast diversity to the singularly creepy phrase: "The Kremlin." 

To the Western ear, "The Kremlin" has an inherently malevolent vibe—like a combination of "criminal" and "gremlin." 

When I first started reading newspapers, I couldn't understand why "The Kremlin" was to be feared. Photos of The Kremlin showed an ornate collection of colorful spires that seemed intent on implying something alien, secretive, and sinister. As a child, I always thought it looked the towers looked fun and festive. I had to struggle to reinterpret the image as representing something "evil." The US press continues to use this image to instill feelings of insecurity, never bothering to point out that what readers are looking at is the Cathedral of St. Basil the Blessed — a Catholic Christian church. For a broader look at The Kremlin (a UNESCO World Heritage Site), you can watch the following video. (And, if you can, ignore the grinning fool posing alongside a mock atomic bomb.) 

At least the US news media have stopped using Cold-War-era cartoons of the "Hammer and Sickle" (innocent symbols of agriculture and industry) covered with blood to make them look like recently employed Gladiatorial weapons. 

Putin on the Ritz: Putin's Palace 

Despite being nearly killed in a poisoning attack, Russian dissident Alexei Navalny refuses to step down in his criticism of Russian President Vladimir Putin. Although Navalny was recently sentenced to more than two years in prison, he managed to stun Russia with the release of a detailed video that documented a massive, $1.35 billion palace overlooking the Black Sea that he charged was secretly built for Putin's private pleasure. 

The video—which Navalny researched, wrote, and narrates—has now been viewed more than 100 million times online. The video provoked massive protests and police crackdowns across Russia. If Karl Marx were alive today, he would be red-faced over this manifestation of ruling-class opulence. After days of official silence, Putin's judo partner and fellow billionaire Arkady Rotenberg stepped forward to say that the mansion was his, not Putin's. 

ICMI, all four episodes of Navalny's extended documentary are available online (with English translation). 

¡Larry Flynt, Presente! 

A few words of praise to mark the death of Larry "Skin" Flynt, a feisty rogue who was much more than a magazine-publisher-turned-billionaire-pornographer. Flynt also was a First Amendment absolutist who delighted in publishing photos and cartoons that would make Charlie Hebdo cringe. 

I used to freelance for Flynt's bare-all magazines, Hustler, Chic, and Oui—publications that gave new meaning to the phrase "photo-spread." I enjoyed having the freedom to tackle anti-establishment exposés in hopes of titillating progressive change among Flynt's community of devoted red-neck-and-blue-ball readers. Flynt not only excelled in uncovering the bodies of buxom babes and bumptious boys—he also delighted in uncovering political corruption and corporate intrigue. And he paid well: $2,000 for feature pieces ($8,000, adjusted for inflation). 

My Hustler articles ranged from exposés of mega-church faith healers to profiles of nuclear power critics. One feature story ("Nuclear Disasters: How They Lied to You") contained gruesome, never-before-published photos of victims of US radiation accidents. (I discovered the photos in a small trove of government documents archived on the UC Berkeley campus.) I shared the photos with Hustler because I knew no other magazine would dare publish them. (There were some extremely disturbing photos that I didn't share—also because I knew Larry would publish them.) One photo that accompanied the article showed a government worker whose arm was amputated after radioactive plutonium particles lodged in a cut on his finger. The photo triggered a lawsuit when the family of the worker claimed "invasion of privacy." Hustler was use to being the target for lawsuits but he had a record of winning in court. Flynt prevailed in this one, too. I learned a lesson: You know your legal team means business when it's led by a lawyer named "Slade." 

Flynt won the shocked admiration of Vietnam war protesters when he published an issue with a Hustler cover that promised: "The Most Obscene Photos We've Ever Printed." The photos turned out to be images of the bodies of dead US soldiers sprawled on the ground in Vietnam. 

In 1978, Larry was shot by a white supremacist and left paralyzed from the waist down. He spent the rest of his days working out of a one-of-a-kind gold-plated wheelchair. When the gunman was eventually arrested and condemned to death. Flynt spoke out against the death penalty. "As I see it," Flynt stated, "the sole motivating factor behind the death penalty is vengeance, not justice, and I firmly believe that a government that forbids killing among its citizens should not be in the business of killing people itself." 

After the attempted assassination, Flynt moved his operations from Columbus, Ohio to Los Angeles and, whenever my reporting prompted a legal threat, I would fly down to the Hustler office on Century Park East to meet with Larry's lawyers. 

On one occasion, my editorial director burst into a meeting to announce: "Hey! Larry's visiting the office. Do you want to meet him? He's in the bathroom, taking a s---!" 

I demurred, but now I wish I had accepted the invite. It might have provided a fitting finish for this memorial tribute. 

Fly Me to Cancun 

Satire from Founders Sing